


Role Model

by Lauralot



Series: HYDRA's A+ Parenting [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Babysitting, Children, Diapers, Gen, Grandchildren, Grandparents & Grandchildren, HYDRA Trash Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-09
Updated: 2015-01-09
Packaged: 2018-03-06 21:44:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3149504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lauralot/pseuds/Lauralot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Winter Soldier makes everything cool.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Role Model

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Runlights](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Runlights/gifts).



> As inspired by [a comment](http://archiveofourown.org/comments/21477050) from [Runlights](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Runlights/pseuds/Runlights) on my fic, [_I'm a Big Squid Now._](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3136073) Specifically: _I bet Pierce showed his grandkids [those pictures]. "See, even big kids have to wear pull-ups!" Yeah, go grand-daddy!_

“All right, munchkin, let’s get you ready for bed.”

“’M ready, Grandpa! Are you gonna tell a story?”

“Ah ah, not so fast. You need to put on your pull-ups.”

“Don’t hafta.”

“That’s not what Mommy said. You don’t want Mommy to get mad at Grandpa for breaking the rules, do you? If Mommy’s mad at Grandpa, how are we all going to go to Disney World next month?”

“I don’ need ‘em anymore, Grandpa. They’re for babies!”

“No they’re not, they’re for big kids. It says so right on the box.”

“Nicole says they just put that to make the babies feel better.”

“Well, your sister’s mistaken. Lots of big kids wear pull-ups.”

“Nuh-uh!”

“Oh, you think so? Hand Grandpa his phone, sweetheart. Thank you. See this picture? This is a big kid Grandpa works with. See? He has to wear them too.”

“...He’s a grown-up.”

“Yes, he is. He’s almost a hundred!”

“Is not! That’s silly, Grandpa.”

“Okay, I was pulling your leg. But he is old enough to drive. And he still wears pull-ups because he still has accidents. See? Big kids do so wear them.”

“His are pink.”

“He likes pink. And he likes octopuses.”

“They’re girls’ pants! Only girls like pink.”

“And how did you arrive at that well-formed conclusion?”

“Huh?”

“Who told you that?”

“Other boys at preschool.”

“I see. Sweetheart, boys can like pink and girls can like blue just like girls can like Iron Man and boys can like Queen Elsa. The world isn’t split into boy things and girl things. Anyone who thinks like that is missing out on a lot of fun stuff.”

“Does that big kid like Queen Elsa?”

“I don’t think he’s ever seen that movie. He works very hard and once he’s done for the day he usually just naps.”

“What’s the matter with his hand?”

“What’s that?”

“His hand, Grandpa. It’s funny-looking.”

“It’s made of metal. He’s a little bit of a robot.”

“Whoa.”

“So even big robots wear pull-ups if they need them.”

“Is he a ninja?”

“A robot ninja?”

“Yeah!”

“Yes, munchkin, he is a robot ninja. He helps Grandpa fight bad guys who make problems for other people.”

“Cool.”

“Very cool.”

“Is he a pirate?”

“What?”

“A robot ninja pirate!”

“No, he’s not a pirate. He was a kitty once, but that was just for Halloween.”

“A robot ninja _kitty_?”

“It wasn’t my idea.”

“That’s weird, Grandpa.”

“It _was_ adorable, though. I have a picture of that too, see?”

“He needs white paws.”

“That’s what I said. Now how about you get your pull-ups on? Nicole’s probably getting very impatient waiting for us. And you never picked out the story you wanted to hear.”

“Wanna hear ‘bout when Uncle Nick saved Mommy in Bogotá.”

“Again?”

“’S good.”

“Yes, it’s a very good story. But your sister’s probably sick of hearing it by now.”

“But _Grandpa_ —”

“Okay, okay, I’ll tell two. Now scoot.”

“Grandpa?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Is Uncle Nick a pirate?”

“Well, there _is_ treasure buried under the Triskelion.”

“ _Really_?”

“Really really.”

“So Uncle Nick’s a pirate?”

“I guess so. But not the kind of pirate who steals things.”

“Just buries ‘em?”

“No, James. The kind of pirate who uses his treasure to help make the world better for everyone. Once he’s got it all gathered up, at least.”

“When’s he gonna do that?”

“Soon. You’ll see. Now, have you got your big kid pants?”

“Uh-huh!”

“All right, let’s go back to the living room.”

“Grandpa?”

“Yes?”

“Are there octopus pull-ups that fit me?”

“I’ll keep an eye out next time I’m at the store.”

**Author's Note:**

> The Winter Soldier was dressed up as a cat for Halloween in my story [_You Only Want to Socialize (But I Don't Think We Should)._](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2460149)


End file.
